Anxiety

(TRIGGER WARNING!!! because some are more sensitive than others)

To me, anxiety and panic attacks have always felt like there’s this giant thing of ice growing out of my chest. And it’s like no matter how you bend and twist, you can’t make it stop. It’ll grow and grow and grow and no matter how you writhe or who you cling to, this THING is exploding out of your chest and it doesn’t give a fuck how you feel about that.

And as this cold, consuming ice envelopes you, it takes away your voice, your lungs, your thoughts. Everything.

And all you can do is cry.

And try to scream.

----------------------------------------
As weird as this sounds, this is actually me celebrating.
Lemme explain.

I went to the doc's and after consideration asked to be put on anti-anxiety meds. Now, I'm not really the kind of person who will jump to take a pill the moment I get the sniffles, but goddammit if anxiety is the pits. A lot of times at work I get pulled into pretty stressful situations, and I've been taking herbal supplements when I felt panic starting, but it's not fun because there's still the chance it'll still increase into an attack.

Which is why I talked to my doc and started meds. The first day and it's been amazing. I can still feel the panic and stuff sometimes, but it feels like there's something keeping it from escalating.

Which, yes please.

So I'm celebrating. Kind of. Yay?